Director: Jackson Hunsicker
Starring: Aileen Quinn, Helen Hunt, John Paragon
"Have you forgotten me ...?"
We like to tease my friend Laura a little bit because she did not seem to watch the same movies/shows as the rest of us when we were growing up. She does not understand why her husband Michael and I love Teddy Ruxpin so much, and when I first saw the cover of the movie "The Frog Prince", I was so creeped out by it that I almost lit it on fire and ran out of the house.
See that thing hanging from the moon? That's a "frog".
It actually was not nearly as bad as I had made it in my mind, though in some way it was even creepier than I could have imagined. We meet Princess Zora [Aileen Quinn, better known as Annie from the original movie version of "Annie"] waking up in her beautiful Princess room singing about her "Lucky Day" [yep, this movie has songs. A whole passel of them], calling her stuffed animal toys her friends and singing about the golden ball she keeps under her pillow. Zora notices that there were a million horns blown that morning and someone changed the flag that flies in the back of the palace, but she can't seem to find anyone to let her know what important event has triggered all of these sudden changes.
On her way running down the hall [and being interrupted by the Emissary because "Princesses don't run"] we meet Zora's older sister Princess Henrietta ["The Eldest"] and Henrietta's Best Friend Dulcey [she is actually introduced in that way later in the movie. Poor Dulcey]. Henrietta, of course is both a nasty little bench and played by Helen Hunt [better known as still acting in movies to this day. And being awesome]. Henrietta sends Zora in to interrupt their Uncle, the King, who is conducting some very important business with his Advisers [who mimic each other and him, and later on walk around blindfolded for some unknown reason]. Henrietta then tells Dulcey that she has intercepted a letter for her Uncle that states only one of the girls is a True [with a capital T] Princess, the other one apparently is just nothing. From the way everyone acts about this, it seems like whichever girl is not a Princess will either be murdered or become a slave, or worst of all have to take Dulcey's job and be forced to be Henrietta's friend.
Zora intrudes on her Uncle and the Advisers singing about the impeccable nature of the King's Word of Honor[ "A Promise is a Promise"] and her Uncle starts freaking out because there is no way that Zora is the True Princess because she is clumsy and young and has no friends, but he wants her to be the True Princess because she is much sweeter and kinder than her sister [I think that a rabid badger would also be sweeter and kinder than Henrietta, but they did not have any available in their kingdom full of palm trees and cactuses].
Zora then goes to Henrietta's room [still with no idea that she might not be a True Princess]and she totally ignores the "Zora, Go Away" sign on the door, walking in on Dulcey and Henrietta pulling a "The Princess Diaries" and looking through a book of eligible Prince Bachelors, including the Prince of Freedly who was cursed by a witch and has not been seen for a year. This is what we call foreshadowing. Henrietta uses one of the favorite insults of an older sister ["You are such a child!"], inspiring Zora to show up in a drag queen's cloak for their Royal Dinner that night. Once Zora is laughed out of the room, she ends up outside where she wraps the hideous cloak over the perpetually sleeping guard and drops her Golden Ball into the pond. Thankfully, the Frog Prince [or Ribbit as Zora calls him] pops out and sings a song ["Too Tall Frog"], dances, and is a little creepy towards the twelve year old girl in front of him [he keeps calling her "Sweet Lady". Little things like that]. Zora asks him to get her ball back for her and he makes her promise that she will be his Best Friend no matter what, and that she will take him back to the palace. Of course she agrees [she wants that ball, man!], he gives her the ball that was somehow hidden in his spinning and open umbrella and they sneak back into the castle.
Of course the rest of the film is fairly predictable. Ribbit does back flips in the hall, he pretends to be an inanimate object when Zora's Uncle comes into her chamber, there is a book called "How to Be a Princess" that is used to improve Zora's posture over the course of one evening, and Ribbit has a pocket full of Frog Feet Dance Step Stickers to help Zora learn to dance. Henrietta and Dulcey see Zora almost looking like a True Princess, and of course Henrietta cannot stand for that. A few more songs happen ["Friendship" and "Have You Forgotten Me?", one of the saddest songs in a children's movie]. As anyone who has ever read or heard the story before can tell you, Ribbit is turned back into his True Self at the end, but thank goodness Zora just kisses his cheek. I've already seen the creepiest girl/man kiss of all time [Kirsten Dunst and Brad Pitt in Interview with a Vampire] and just the thought of Zora kissing a man twenty years older and two feet taller just made me sick.
Fun Fact: John Paragon, who played Ribbit and the Prince of Freedly, is better known as Jambi the Genie from Pee-Wee's Playhouse and the voice of Pterri the Pterodactyl.
To Sum Up: Worth seeing, for sure. It's nice to have a protagonist who is allowed to be earnest and peppy [mostly because she's so young] and they actually did a good job of showing the dynamic between the older and younger sister [I have a sign on my door that says "Ashley, Go Away!", but that never stops her]. I'm kind of sad that I never saw this when I was younger [it would have been fun belting those songs], but I saw plenty of obscure 80's movies [like that one with the weird puppet kids where they go through the mirror. Does anyone know that that is?] to make up for it. I would just not suggest watching this alone and in the dark, as the Frog make-up may give you nightmares.
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